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夢中的我,好慘


我捉到一只很小很小的家雀,隨后,欲將它放生,這時,遇到一個兩三歲的小男孩,便將小麻雀給了他,但當我在松手給他的時候,不知為啥,竟然弄了一手羽毛,仔細一看,是小麻雀的兩個翅膀,我很懊悔,擔心小麻雀可能活不成了。

在一個房子的頂部,有一個閣樓樣的房間,里邊有不少中了箭,被射殺的喜鵲,每個喜鵲都是中了兩支箭。天空,還有中箭的喜鵲飛來。這大概是與前幾天我在臥室外窗臺上看到的那只喜鵲有關系吧,那幾天,有兩只喜鵲常在窗外嘰嘰喳喳地叫,媳婦還說,莫不是咱家要有什么喜事發生吧?我也覺得挺高興的。但是,有一天早上,我剛走出樓宇門,發現就在我家臥室窗臺外樓下的墻根,躺著一只喜鵲,它已經去世了。我的心情頓時感到很難過,這只喜鵲莫不是那天落在我家窗臺外的那只吧?是誰殺死了它,還是天熱中暑而死?我想還是它生病了才死的,喜鵲在人們心中是吉祥的鳥兒,恐怕現在沒有人會傷害它的。從那以后,這些天再沒有聽到喜鵲的叫聲。我感到遇到這樣的事很晦氣,沒有把這事告訴媳婦,我不想讓她的心情受到影響。然而,估計這個事刺激到了我,才做了這個關于喜鵲的夢。

我十分缺錢,找找自己的可存錢的地方,只有一些很少的零錢。我很窘迫,無意中,在一個地方摸到一張似乎是100元的錢,放到了褲兜里,以為這下可以緩解一下當前的窘境了,但過了一會兒,掏出來一看,竟然是一張紙,心情無比的悲傷——我怎么落到了這步田地?

曾經的友人依然對我寄予了厚望,然而,幾年過去了,我并沒有像他們想象的那樣優秀,做出一番事業,我做的不好,有無顏見江東父老的愧疚。但我依然心有不甘:只要我還活著,我就還有希望!

  這是夢境,還是現實?我常常把夢境和現實混為一談,心潮隨之起起伏伏。


201864日星期一

2018年6月6日修改


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